2:24 am havn't left my house in 3 days.

i need to stop being anti-social. Shit has been going better, not that i have any urge to jump for joy. but its ok. I start school at Empire on monday which should be interesting one girl already hates me. She from pennridge. but whatever ill make friends with the Urban's. I am still jobless, which is killing me. Freaking capital one will not stop calling me. damn bill collectors. Other wise shits normal. Melissa has moved in and that's sweet i love her. You would never guess i have 3 girls living in one room. no ones ever home which is kinda good cuz if we were, we would kill each other most likely. but I'm really happy to have her, she a great addition to my friend list. well its not really a list. maybe i need more friends? I was really happy everyone came home for thanksgiving, i saw Rebbecca who is really the only person that's far, but Natalie's house was pretty cool. its like I'm back in 10Th grade woot! ha and then i have also been seeing Katie coz more. i love that girl, or trip to NJ was exciting. tryna do that more often. ride home i wanted to die but it was well worth it. and to whoever that one hoe was at that party in Philly i went to she sucks! I'M FROM PERKASIE BITCH! but yeah anyways i love my friends. maybe i should try hanging out with them...? Leigh Elisa I'm glad to be home love you girls.


some shows are coming up maybe ill leave my house?

Fortress of Shame

It sucks being lied to, and it sucks even more when it from the people you think you can trust. The person i trust most is my mom. We are really close it just when it comes to my father, she gets to wordy about things or stories change. Some stuff just doesn't make sense. Today is the day my father died. I think it will get easier each year but it never does. And me not knowing about him i think makes it worse because it makes me think about him more. I have a horrible memory of my childhood, I'm not sure if i block it out as a way to save myself, or what. I know he did some shitty stuff in the past he drank to much did to many drugs, got into trouble. But I'm sick of being lied to I'm sick of this bullshit. Sometimes i think i might be better off that hes dead, i might have turned out differently, or he would be in jail again, and i might end up hating him alot more. So I'm not sure if I'm glad you killed yourself, glad isn't the right word but maybe you did the right thing for once, and thought it would be for the best. The more i find out about you the more i want to know, and i want to hate you. But at the end of the day i still love you and miss you. And it fricking sucks that when i try to get away from it all there you are.

I would like to thank the art museum and whoever wrote the book pine street hotel for reminding me how much my father sucked.

Thanks.

I Don't ask questions

Or question myself, because i don't want to know the truth, or i don't want to hear it, Or i already know the answer. I don't get why people question me, if i don't even bother to question myself. Why second guess? Just do it, you have one life, eff it, just go for it. You fail and fall face first, do something else. What makes it so wrong to do something out of the norm. When have i ever been normal? I have always done thing I'm my own time, in my own way, i will get where i want to one way or another. So all you people with your opinions and words of wisdom, i don't need it save it for some other smuck, it's great you think your helping. But its really just one more person telling me I'm wrong. So don't question or worry about me, I'll turn out just fine.

Werewolf is to Moons

As Addict is to Drugs.

What turns you?

It's like a flick of a switch.

I'm tired

But i can't sleep, and maybe because it's like 10:30am, but i did go to bed at 4:00am. It looks like its going to rain today, im sorry if your having a parade. 

Chin up kid, things can't get any worse. 

Only better. 

Get those umbrellas out. 

This is hardcore

ruled!

besides me having a seizures during let down, and not remembering Saturday at all!
and then throwing up today before Ceremony.

Go me!

Bree Ariana Wood

Is SINGLE.

And has been for the past 8 months.

theres no gray,

only

Black
and
white.

It's clear now.
sorry.

What is my Malfunction?

So my life is ok, i have a nice house with my best friends, I'm a happy person for the most part, im going to school, i am currently not work but im trying, but all this shit i can figure out and get under control, what i cant is guys, i am constanly running into
A. guys with gf (who think its ok to lie and tell me there single)
B. guys that can get over there EX (and string me along)
C. Assholes that just want TO HANG OUT HANG OUT (not into it, so dont try)
It is driving me nutz, and whats reallu annoying is, it seems to be that, i am always the girl before the gf, I say hay can we just hang out to and not do shit, and then they dont wanna hang out, sorry im not a hoe.
I think maybe i have a malfunction,

Is it that horrible to just hang out with me, and not get anything out of it?

Not bowing down.

I've got my shit together for once. My whole life i had nothing, or the bare minimum. Everything i have ever had, i had to work my ass off for, 5 jobs at once not a fun life. And i know my mom would help me out if she could but she can just keep her head above water. I do not love her less or spite her for this. If anything it has made me a better person, and has made me stronger. I got my life together. I am moving out with good people into a nice house. Not an shit house/apart. but a nice house and a place i am proud to say i live there. Unlike most place i have lived. When i was little parents didnt want there kids at my house, becasue it wasn't safe place, or the people there aka my father/his friends/and then my moms ass whole bf were there. No more of that people can actually come to my house and not be sketched out. And how i might pay for this awesome house you ask. Well i got a job. Just one not 5. A real frickin job, benifits, and all. And it what i want to do and what im going to school for. I work at 3W Marketing now, and a marketing/sales rep. and it's sick! This will finally get me over my hump for school tuition too. I'm about 400 short. and buy July 31st i will have paid for school all on my own. No parents, no loans, no aid. I got that shit together by myself.

Fucking the H8ters.
I'm going somewhere.
Tickets anyone?

Grow.

So i think i havn't updated in a while because my last up date got me down we didnt get that house. But shits looking up. Hope is on the horizon. We have a house on Hewson street. And its a really nice place, move in date is Aug 1st. This is either going to bring up together or tear us a part. but whatever the experiance will be worth it.
Right now i my current reading list is goodnight moon, the giving tree, and other childrens books. All i do is read bedtime stories, and kiss boo boos, and feed. I have somehow aquired two small children. 5 and 7 year old. There mother go this great idea to leave them with me all the freaking time and they live at my house. 6 people in a 2 bedroom aprt. I love the girls Kayla and Makenzie (idk if i spelled there names right) but we go out and people think there mine! sweet im 18 and have two kids! Do i really look like i have had 2 kids! what a frickin downer! i need to work out! This makes me not want to ever have kids. Keep telling myself just keep popin those pills!

Quick fact about my life (that on one cares about)
-I love abbey aka GF
-I love leigh nash!
-I love Tiwi and TB
-I'm moving Aug 1 to fishtown
-I have 2 kids
-I go to Bucks
-I don't have a bf but i have ABBEY!
-I love Food!
-I paint houses
-I don't have a life

Movin on up!

Ok well we may not be the Jeffersons, but there are 4 of us, and we all have shitty homes that we are trying to get out of. And just like the Jeffersons, i think the girls and I have found a spot of our own. It's really sweet looking and i hope that i works out. We got the credit report in and now we are waiting to hear back. It has 4 floors basement 1, 2, 3. And a patio outside. So we can lay out and have creepy peepers, creepin all day long! ha It's in Fishtown, and its 2 blocks from the L, and basically it rules. If we don't get this house im gonna freak, 1, becasue i am tired of looking and calling people and driving to philly all the time to look at shit, and 2 this is the perfect house.

Frick I am so excitted!

Rm 498

Tonight it really hit me. My mom is all i have. It took me 8hrs in a ER to figure that out. But it hit me. I am alone in this world, i have no other family. The whole time i was there i was just trying to think of someone to call, someone to talk to that could sit with me, or sit with her because i couldn't take her being sick anymore. I hate hospitols. I hate the smell, the lights, the overly nice nurses, and there fake smiles. This whole night I was alone. And tonight I'm sleeping alone, my mom is staying at GVH i don't know when she is coming home. But i don't like the this feeling. I want my Dad. I want him to be with me, and to sit with her. Ask her how she is doing. I don't if its becasue i am extremely tired, or what but i cant stop crying. Ihate him for leaving me alone, why should i have to take care of my mom by myself. Where the fuck are you. I know being dead is your excuse but if you were a live you would probably have some other excuse. Drinking or getting high. I hate that i miss you. I hate being alone. I hate crying.

stop crying, you dont cry.

Fucking suck it up you baby.

Some friends hug, some friends high five, some give a pat on the back!

This is what my friends do.

Everyone loves a little differently?

My one an only

My friend.
I'm sorry, don't hate me.
Your all I got.

<3

STOP!

calling me texting me everything.
I can't do it. I asked and you said no
I looked like an idiot and a fool
I want to but, i know i shouldn't
I really really want to
thats why it sucks that much more
not answering your calls.

i hate this, i have to say no.


I love Abbey.
WWAD?

The Never Ending Story! Which One?

I liked the movie better.

I Just Want Back In Your Head...

With all this wind, maybe the clouds will change?

And so will you.

which shade are you?

My life is in shades of gray. No crisp white in site, yet no hint of forever black and grim. My scale runs from the white snow to the black night, and all the gray ash in between. Maybe i have past my black, but certainly no white has passed me by. That's something you think a person would notice? Maybe so...but when your worlds in a limited scale, you see only limited possibilities.

Someone show me the neon's and pastels.
I will reach them if have to yell.
Get me out of this scale.
Please.
Wheres my colored television ?

You ever hear that saying...When something's troubling you?

Theres a monkey on your back?

Well i've got it.

Now how to get rid of it?

12:35 am still no call.

Last night i will be shaving my legs.

It's time to go out with the girls.

::Cheers::

Who needs em'? I Don't!

It's sad becasue we all do it...

It's a fact.

What did you want to be?

Schools almost over, time to grow up i guess. I probably wont. I have no money for school, and my moms shit broke. I need some type of loan or scholarship but i don't do anything that could get me money.

It weird how at age 10 you have your whole life planned out and you really believe, that what you are going to be. Then a year later your father dies, another year goes by and you and your mom run out of money, you get kicked out constantly because some asshole lives with you, and then finally you move into a 2 room apartment and share a room with your 28 year old brother. 5 years later your hip goes to shit, your a high school drop out, with 4 jobs, and no leads to what you want to do with your life.

Fuck life, fuck dreams.













I'm becoming a PR Specialists.

I am the assassin

Arm yourself with knowledge.

The white cheetah strikes at midnight...

Saturday the shit hits the fan!

I collapse

Not taken
letting go so I can be all alone Feel myself letting go...
I am yours? I'm up and doing circles.

When I'm just so sick of feeling less than perfect.
Is it right for me? I never fight to see if coming clean
Would get to me. I feel myself, holding back.
I feel the pressure, it's finally back.

<3 Abbey

t&s

I Know i talk in Circles

I just have so much to say.

And so much i don't want you to know.

The past is here to stay.

But the future is coming my way.

Regressing to 10th Grade

I did absolutly nothing till like 4pm

Then i went to elisas and just chilled with her little bro, and maggie who is about to pop!

Chilled with Bowzie and sean! hit up the apple bees and then chilled at his house! so good!

Chilled with E's drunk dad and godfather, and leigh schooled them in pool! and rock band! Then Retarted drunked andy called me so we headed down to jons.

Got there Andy was passed out and so was Aj.

The best was when andy ate his match stick water ha.

Bottom line andy is retarted.

Got home at 5:30

Such a 10th grade night so much random shit!

I love my friends!

Pot Roast

so i was talking to Rin, and we got this awesome idea to have a family diner, and watch the godfather. Hes making pasta, and im making pot roast. So far bowes is in maybe dave. Who else wants in?! I'm so pumped! woot.

Tonight is wing night, free wings, best idea ever. To bad there not that great but its free fuck i don't care!

Other news, me and abbey so thought it was summer yesterday, and tried having a picnic outside. but we found out later that i was way to cold. But the pizza was so good! margarita pizza! best invention ever. But i so wish it was summer! It needs to come like now, this weather keeps teazin me!

It needs to be summer

I need to go canooing

I need warm weather

I need Pizza

I NEED ABBEY!

Abbey is Sleeping

Thoughts of the day...

I've been workin on the railraod!
What the fuck have you been doing?!

Where is my fucking Ipod?

Why my pssa test is a porn site???

What to do with the house to my self this weekend?

You know what really grinds my gears!

When you are made to work on the floor all day!
When you are suppposed to work in the back!

I hate customers
I hate people
I hate being nice
I hate the dark

Leave me alone in the back with my ipod and cloths that dont talk back!

That's what really Grinds my Gears!

It's ice cream weather.

i love the warm.
i love ice cream
i love ritas
i love walking
i love abbey

cars are overrated.

i love legs.