Tonight it really hit me. My mom is all i have. It took me 8hrs in a ER to figure that out. But it hit me. I am alone in this world, i have no other family. The whole time i was there i was just trying to think of someone to call, someone to talk to that could sit with me, or sit with her because i couldn't take her being sick anymore. I hate hospitols. I hate the smell, the lights, the overly nice nurses, and there fake smiles. This whole night I was alone. And tonight I'm sleeping alone, my mom is staying at GVH i don't know when she is coming home. But i don't like the this feeling. I want my Dad. I want him to be with me, and to sit with her. Ask her how she is doing. I don't if its becasue i am extremely tired, or what but i cant stop crying. Ihate him for leaving me alone, why should i have to take care of my mom by myself. Where the fuck are you. I know being dead is your excuse but if you were a live you would probably have some other excuse. Drinking or getting high. I hate that i miss you. I hate being alone. I hate crying.
stop crying, you dont cry.
Fucking suck it up you baby.
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