Rm 498

Tonight it really hit me. My mom is all i have. It took me 8hrs in a ER to figure that out. But it hit me. I am alone in this world, i have no other family. The whole time i was there i was just trying to think of someone to call, someone to talk to that could sit with me, or sit with her because i couldn't take her being sick anymore. I hate hospitols. I hate the smell, the lights, the overly nice nurses, and there fake smiles. This whole night I was alone. And tonight I'm sleeping alone, my mom is staying at GVH i don't know when she is coming home. But i don't like the this feeling. I want my Dad. I want him to be with me, and to sit with her. Ask her how she is doing. I don't if its becasue i am extremely tired, or what but i cant stop crying. Ihate him for leaving me alone, why should i have to take care of my mom by myself. Where the fuck are you. I know being dead is your excuse but if you were a live you would probably have some other excuse. Drinking or getting high. I hate that i miss you. I hate being alone. I hate crying.

stop crying, you dont cry.

Fucking suck it up you baby.

Some friends hug, some friends high five, some give a pat on the back!

This is what my friends do.

Everyone loves a little differently?

My one an only

My friend.
I'm sorry, don't hate me.
Your all I got.

<3

STOP!

calling me texting me everything.
I can't do it. I asked and you said no
I looked like an idiot and a fool
I want to but, i know i shouldn't
I really really want to
thats why it sucks that much more
not answering your calls.

i hate this, i have to say no.


I love Abbey.
WWAD?

The Never Ending Story! Which One?

I liked the movie better.

I Just Want Back In Your Head...

With all this wind, maybe the clouds will change?

And so will you.

which shade are you?

My life is in shades of gray. No crisp white in site, yet no hint of forever black and grim. My scale runs from the white snow to the black night, and all the gray ash in between. Maybe i have past my black, but certainly no white has passed me by. That's something you think a person would notice? Maybe so...but when your worlds in a limited scale, you see only limited possibilities.

Someone show me the neon's and pastels.
I will reach them if have to yell.
Get me out of this scale.
Please.
Wheres my colored television ?

You ever hear that saying...When something's troubling you?

Theres a monkey on your back?

Well i've got it.

Now how to get rid of it?

12:35 am still no call.

Last night i will be shaving my legs.

It's time to go out with the girls.

::Cheers::

Who needs em'? I Don't!

It's sad becasue we all do it...

It's a fact.

What did you want to be?

Schools almost over, time to grow up i guess. I probably wont. I have no money for school, and my moms shit broke. I need some type of loan or scholarship but i don't do anything that could get me money.

It weird how at age 10 you have your whole life planned out and you really believe, that what you are going to be. Then a year later your father dies, another year goes by and you and your mom run out of money, you get kicked out constantly because some asshole lives with you, and then finally you move into a 2 room apartment and share a room with your 28 year old brother. 5 years later your hip goes to shit, your a high school drop out, with 4 jobs, and no leads to what you want to do with your life.

Fuck life, fuck dreams.













I'm becoming a PR Specialists.