It was a good Run...

I was the girl with her head on her shoulders and stayed on the right path, but sometimes a few bolts come loose and I like to wonder through the woods. Lets hope I don't go to far and get lost.

I hate to admit it, but it finally happened, I'm the one that feels the pain.

I'm broken, and it's not a bone.

We are all we got.

So my mom left this for me one morning...

"Bree is a steady stream of energy, scintillating sunshine shimmering as she moves through the day. This leggie, woman-child leaping, laughing, lover her way through life was my frustration when she was you and my companion as i grow older. Her room erupts with a fusion of child and woman evidenced by the dry witted cartoons plastered about her room, the doodlings of her youth and the collections of photography peppering her walls. Her body is one of constant movement and endlessly dancing from morning to night leaving me breathless as she swishes by me escaping into the night in revelry with friends. As i watch her, this gazelle , as thin as a willow bending in the wind, i realize how lucky i am to be her mother."

(Temple Graduation 2006, it took her like 30 years to finish but she did it.)

I love my mom.
We may have nothing, and every year she always says things will get better and they never do. Things just seem to get worse. But if theres one thing i will never be without, that's my mom. The one person i can count on. Thank you for everything. We will be OK one day all we need is you and me.

I wish you didn't drop this rock on me.

This is one of the shittiest feelings I've had in awhile. Breaking up sucks especially when you don't hate each other. And all you want to do is hangout with them, and be normal. But it's not you can't hangout, because it would just make things worse. What do you do when someones just moving, someone tell me because i don't know, I think once hes gone it will be easier maybe but knowing he's right down the street, and you will end up seeing each other at one point sucks. I pretty much just want to cry. The only thing that makes me mad is that you think I can't handle that your leaving, Let me decide what i can handle. This just sucks, i suck, someone shut me up.

way to move to California.

My grandmother is insane. 5hrs at gvh.

So far my grandmother has...
-cursed me
-tried to hook me up with a married doctor
-hit on all the EMTs
-yelled at a nurse for making a joke
-said she has to bury her dead aunt
-said she is getting married
-keeps talking about a greyhound bus
-said she is holding a baby
-keeps saying people are laying on her or next to her
-doesn't know where she is
-she keeps making faces and rolling her eyes
-crying and laughing
-says she doesn't love me
-wont take her pills
-keeps cursing
-she wont stop talking about this damn BUS!

if i didn't know better she was drunk or high, and i want some so grandma give it up i need to have some fun too!

eff my life.

Going ok.

Things are going pretty good, I have a new job at Seychelles salon in perkasie, she says i can have a chair when I'm done school so that nice to know. The new car (Dave's) kinda new ha, but it works and very happy to have it. I'm a Sr. at school now, so i have clients all the time now, its kinda scary and exciting, i just suck at talking, which i will have to get over, hopefully that will be soon. Other things i shall continue working on, and wonder about.

Material Things.

So I have an awesome boyfriend, we go out he pays for food, and whatever we do. He has given me an awesome Ipod, and now a car. I am very grateful, and I love everything he has done for me, and given me. I don't know if he knows how much I appreciate what he had done for me. But I need more than things, I want him to want me, and I really want to know that he does. He might very well like me as much as I like him, but I don't know what it is I just need to hear it. I suck, I'm turing into a dumb paranoid girl, but I think it's just because I like him that much.

someone shut me up or shoot me.

my blogs are gay.

The Kids. Zach, Jessie, and Kelly

Saved By The Bell <3

Inadequate. Not only for men.

Inadequate, I hear that word alot for some reason, it's always on the radio, guy's get bigger, long blah blah. When I hear that word, I always associate it with men, being more than you are something bigger and better. For some reason, I know use that word in comparison of myself. Am I inadequate, or is it just people not seeing what is already there? Women all over, constantly are comparing themselves. I have always felt that comparing yourself to others isn't the best, why try and be someone else, I have always strived to be the better me. A constant battle with myself. Lately I feel myself getting sucked into stupid girl paranoia. Comparing myself to girls I don't even know. Maybe if I were more like her he'd like me more, I could be smarter, cooler, prettier, more in depth, then maybe I wouldn't have any problems. I wonder if theses problems even exists or am I making it into something it's not? Thing's I normally would never think twice about, jump out at me, and I dwell and worry about. I want to be something I'm not, only to make you happy. I feel inadequate, because I want to be more, but I'm not sure what that is. Maybe it is just stupid girl paranoia or maybe the feeling I have is real. I don't like feeling like a last resort, or a temporary thing till someone better comes along. Guy's your not alone, the inadequacy virus is spreading, and my fever is running high.

I suck.

So all that talk about being single...

I acquired a boyfriend last night, weird, but I'm really happy!

Feeling good!

Since my last post I feel like I was in a slump. But I'm out of it now, and so freaking happy I'm not miserable anymore. I hate when I'm like that. I got rid of all the shit in my life that was stressing me out, and doing what I want to do. For once I'm not insanely stressed out. I like not having any guy to worry about, and be annoyed with all the time. I is awesome, I'm actually single I don't like anyone, and I don't give a shit that I'm alone. It rules! The only thing I care about right now is school. Nothing is going to eff that up. I have been at Empire for 6 weeks now, and I have passes all of the units, and not just like I just made it. No i go A in all thing units we have done. And all my practicals I have gotten A's on. I have finally found something I'm good at, and I think it is making me more confident, sounds lame but when your good at something and you know what your talking about, you feel good. People in my class come to me for help, and I feel like I'm doing something for once. Its funny how helping someone even in the smallest way, can change your attitude. Which is why I think I am going to go into the teaching program at Empire. Once I am done with that, I want to back to some college and get certified to teach, and maybe in science. That way I can create new colors, and perms, relaxers. I have a goal for once, something that I am capable of reaching. I have my shit together, and I couldn't be happier.