Last Day at AIP

Me as Sharon Tate, make-up done by Brandon, And Brandon as Charles Manson make-up, hair, and beard, done by me! Yes we are freaks.

Happy little Family! <3


So tommorow is my last day at AIP. I'm very excited to go home, but then I will miss the few friends I have made. And this class especially I will miss, I had so much fun doing this project! Another chapter of the life as Bree ends and a new one begins. Pitt, was an experience, and I do not regret going. I learned a lot and enjoyed most of my classes...or maybe just this one. But Monday starts another chapter in Philly. I shall be moving in to my own studio apartment! I can't wait to get settled and decorate. Also Christmas break will be awesome because my friends are all home and I get to see some people I haven't seen in forever. I can't wait!

Good times to come!

marilyn monroe

“I have always been deeply terrified to really be someone’s wife since I know from life one cannot love another, ever, really.”

Cute

skate by breeeee88 featuring plastic jewelry

Vans for life.

Waking up at 2 pm

My heart is beating.
The day is waiting.
No force, not even myself can propel me from this state.
Heavy limbs like the greatest stone; No giant could lift.
I sit and wait.
I wait till i find the giant in myself.
Forever I am searching.

Say goodbye to the day.

Today is My Day to be Sad-reflect and ramble.

I write to my friends that have lost a parent, or someone they loved. When you lose a parent a support system dies. They made up half of you, and you feel like you will never know what your other have should have been like. People say you get this trait from you father, or you sound just like your mother. But you don't really know. You feel as you can't fulfill who you were meant to be without knowing them.
For those friends of mine that have lost someone, it gets easier, trust me. It's been about 10 years now, and its better. Slowly it will, I promise, time passes, your life passes you bye. You will be doing great for a long time, and then one day you just break down for no reason. But you pick yourself back up and move on to the next day. The thing to remember is not to be self destructive. This gets you know where and the one you lost would not want you to end up that way. You need to not feel sorry for yourself but except what has happened. As much as it sucks you need to just walk away and get over it. harsh, but truest words I have ever spoke.
I think what i feel most guilty about or upset is I can't remember what my Father sounds like. Nor do I really know what he looks like. I have a picture, a flat picture with the same facial expression. The one i have been staring at for the past 10 years. A picture can only be so real; I can't form a 3-d life like picture in my head anymore. Its like a stranger in my memories. Walking in and out of my snap shots of childhood.
When I was younger I used to pretend he hadn't died but only had to pretend to because he was a secret agent. And one day I would see him again. But then I thought to myself, lets be real my father was way to messed up to be a agent. I regret not having a video camera, and not making myself have a better memorey. I think how I am only 21 years old and how much of him is gone. I will never get that back. By the time I'm 40 and possibly have children, what will i tell them. If i have nothing to tell. Sometimes I think my brain is deteriorating, and soon I wont even be able to worry about the future. But then maybe that would be better, living the rest of my life not thing of what I've been missing? Life is sick and twisted, which i why I don't believe in a god. Who would set an entire world up for failure. Then again I wish i did because when you die that's it no one will remember you, you can't think and remember your life, it's just dark. It's as if you never existed, all that hard work and worrying about money and your future, and its gone. My Father spent his who life worrying, and messing up and paying the price for it. I know he wanted to do good, and he wanted to try too but maybe he knew there was no point for him. He was going to die and that would be it. Maybe he had the right Idea.
To my Father, whom will always be my mystery. 11/18/01

Black Swan

Check out Darren Aronofsky new movie Black Swan, starring Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. The moive revolves around New York City Ballet Company that is preparing to put on a preformance of Swan Lake. If you are familair with ballet, you know there is the white swan inniocent and pure, but then there is the black swan that is very sensual. Nina (Portman) has been struggling to be a star for so long and finally thinks she gets her chance, but a new comer to the company Lily (Kunis) takes the eyes off Nina. Lily have this essence about her that is captivating much like the black swan. Nina being much like the white swan is threatened by this. If you are familair with the life of a ballet dance you know that it is very stressful on the body and mind. Black Swan take the realities of ballet and what it is like inside a troubled dancers mind. Black Swan is a true psychological thriller. Having the two dancer being polar opposites they developed a twisted relationship and fight for the part. Nina starts to have dreams and illusions involving lily and the ballet. It seems that lily might have some type of super natural power, but you are never quite sure, it just might all be in Nina's head.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrqA0whcGos -trailer


The make-up in Black Swan really helps tell the story and the dramatize it all. Marjorie Durand oversaw the over all look of the movie, and Judy Chin focused on the ballet make-ups, while Mike Marino the make-up effects. This team of make-up artist really made this movie. Making Nina look more innocent while other dancers being confident, letting the make-up tell the story. The Black Bird demon in the movie is great letting the dancer move but still be early and realistic. With a combination of different color contacts and the ere make-up, this team of make-up artist make this movie real.

Drinking Alone in the Moonlight

Beneath the blossoms with a pot of wine,
No friends at hand, so i pour alone;
I raised my cup to invite the moon,
Turned to my shadow, and we became three.
Now the moon had never learned about drinking,
And my shadow had merely followed my form,
But I quickly made friends with the moon and my shadow;
To find pleasure in life, make the most of the spring.

Whenever I sang, the moon swayed with me;
Whenever i danced, my shadow went wild. Drinking, we shared our enjoyment together;
Drunk, then each went off on his own.
But forever agreed on dispassionate revels,
We promised to meet in the far Milky Way.

Jake the dog

This is my costume for Halloween, I had a lot of fun doing it. It kind a took my mind off how freaking miserable I am, and it let me see I have the ability to complete something. So yeah this is my Jake the dog costume, it's from the show Adventure Times its on cartoon network check it out. It says its for kids but there references are totally effed ha

Fall

New quarter started, this quarter will be my deciding factor if i leave or stay. Sometimes i like being in Pitt, just because it gets me away from the same old b.s. and it pushes me to try and meet new people. But it seems that i dont push myself that hard to meet new people, and then when i do try it seems to back fire. I can't win. This weekend was Christians birthday party, and besides me twitching frantically for and hour i had a lot of fun. I miss my friends so much, we are such a weirdly awesome group of people. I could never find any body like them. I didn't think I was going to say anything but I applied to Temple. I was planning on not telling anyone because im afraid i wont get in. I never applied to a real college before, so if i don't get in i would hate myself. But whatever I'm in an honest mood. If I happen to go to Temple i hope whatever sad/funk Im in stops. I really hate being this miserable, it's not me and its not fun.

My birthday is in a week or so and ill be 21. Not sure what will happen, i feel like i should drink and celebrate I mean why not, i hate stupid traditions but i will probably get shit if i don't drink. I'm just not to excited about the fact i could end up twitching and freaking people out from it. Who knows, i just wanna gamble win money and get tattoos.

oh Im being Jake from Adventure Times Abbeys being Finn, we rule.

California

So last week I spent sometime in California, it was great. Abbey and I went on some pretty sick adventures, with the help of Barco. Things we did.

Hollywood Blv, took some pictures of the stars and had some awesome sushi. And people thought we were hookers...
Downtown and fashion district, it was a lot of Mexicans, and cheaply made stuff. It wasn't that cool, but Barcos school is sweet. But there were so cool shops, got a dress and a blazer that i love.
Venice and Santa Monica, highlight of our trip. Went to the beach, so a bunch of venders, hung out with so really cool people and got to go to some clubs. Apparently old men love me. It was so pretty there, and the shops and night were awesome. The people there were so nice, and showed us around, i could not ask for a better guide.
Riverside, went to a show and met some awesome dudes, hit up an in and out burger which was great, and hung out at this girls house that was super nice. Barco friends are great i love Eric and Kyle.
Laguna Beach was sick very rich but so pretty, we buried Abbey and Kyle in the sand, and got some taco bell way better in CA than PA. And hit the hot tube/pool at alies house.

Overall it was an awesome trip and totally worth the money and missing school. I might be kicking myself now cuz all the work i have to do but it was so freaking awesome.

One life.

THIS IS HARDCORE=I love life.

This was an amazing weekend, best This is Hardcore yet. I had so much fun and I didn't pass out for once and enjoyed myself. Every year I pass out and miss all the good stuff. The line up and bands they got to come back and play were amazing. Even if you weren't into all of them it was still cool to see. I honestly never cared for Sheer Terror, but its cool just to see them. And be like shit theses guy are old, and haven't played for years and people still go ape shit. I think that's really cool. Even if he did talk to much but whatever hes old respect it. Kid dynamite was fucking awesome i feel if i die now it will be ok. ha not really, but there set was amazing, and i had never seen them before, made it ten times better. Ink and Dagger, was so freaking cool to watch. The face paint, light and shit. so sick. The girl before hand was a little crazy but I was into it, i love theatrics. I was getting pissed by peoples side comments, it part of their intro or whatever, just shut up let the lady talk. If you saw them fri/heard about it you would have known whats up and not been a heckling asshole. Anyways their set was so freaking sweet, and I love the cause, for that little boy. It shows how people can really come together. It warmed my heart a little. Anyways Horror show was also awesome to see played had an awesome set. So many awesome bands I had never seen before, it was an amazing experience. Thanks Joe. Other bands I have seen a few times also made this weekend great. Cro-mags as always, rival mob was sick, bummed there shirts sold out even before they played, I should have gotten on that. MoM, Title fight and cold world were awesome as always, and stick together, being in Pitt I had not seen them yet so that was a awesome first run for me. I missed nails and agitator but i hear they were sick as well. I'm sure other bands were awesome as well but I was busy eating/trying not to die, cause I suck. Besides bands, it was awesome to see friends. Being in Pitt makes me feel so detached from eveyone, but coming home felt like I had never left. I love my friends, it was so happy to see Abbey and Leigh at the party Saturday. I wanted to cry. It was also nice getting closer and spending time with some other great ladies I know. Pretty much this weekend makes me want to never go back to pitt. Shit sucks there and I will never have friends that feel so much like family there. Basically, Words can't express how much fun I had this weekend, and how much I love my friends.
My horrible phone photography...

Night Out.

Night out by breeeee88 featuring Monsoon bags

Forever21.com - Fabulous Finds - 2000000464
$17 - forever21.com
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black high street blazer
$50 - oaknyc.com
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Stretch, cotton skinny jeans | Apparel Jeans | 1567 | BLACK | Bare...
$22 - barefeetshoes.com
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Lace Platform High Heels
$36 - yesstyle.com
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Lace Overlay Bar Clutch
25 GBP - monsoon.co.uk
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FULL TILT Lace Heart Ring
$3.99 - tillys.com
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Girls' Disney Sonny Munroe Black Lace Covered Pearl Necklace OS :...
$6.99 - target.com
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Black Lace Bow Fabric Clip
4 GBP - missselfridge.com
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Eyes | Cosmetics | Accessories
$4.99 - hottopic.com

bareMinerals 100% Natural Lip Gloss .14 fl oz (4.2 ml): Beauty
$12 - amazon.com

pink ribbon nail lacquer
10 GBP - harveynichols.com

Matte Eyeshadow - Baby Girl
$23 - barneys.com

Nerd Gone Bad...

First try by breeeee88 featuring Velvet dresses

Pocket Tee Dress
$49 - calypso-celle.com
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Pins and Needles Ruffle Back Cardigan
$48 - urbanoutfitters.com
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Old Navy Womens Lace-Trim Camis
$13 - oldnavy.gap.com
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Nylon Tricot Floral Lace Cycle Short
$30 - americanapparel.net
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Black Fold Over Buckle Slouch Comfort Ladies Knee-High Boots Women's...
$20 - nowdiscountshoes.com
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Tammy Across Body Bag
20 GBP - oasis-stores.com
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Wide Braid Belt
$7.99 - tillys.com
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Crystal Studded Bow Headband
25 GBP - talullahtu.co.uk
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Black Glasses Accessory - MeekaKitty Accessories - Official Online...
$9.99 - districtlines.com
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Pretty and out of place

Pretty and out of place, you wonder how it got to this space
dark and dilapidated, no home, being suffocated
Out of place, oh this space
And yet Pretty's still their, wavering as the dark stares
Only to be fair, It's not polite for the darkness stare
To bad Pretty brought yourself their...

Summer Quarter in Pitt

SO I got through my first week of classes. My teachers are pretty sweet, and my classes aren't so bad. Math teacher she's awesome, which is good becuase if she was a bitch, there is no way I would make it through this quarter. I have this old guy Pence for drafting and theory/development of form; he a hard ass but funny in his own way. He's totally the type of teacher you either love or hate. Then for English I have this mid-thirties dude, who is awesome. He has this really interesting accent, its like British/American/intelligent professor voice, I love it. He has an awesome teaching philosophy, so I'm interested to see if I do better in English because of it.
I also got a math tutor, hopefully I don't fail math and have to pay for another class. I would be extremely pissed if that happened. Overall you would think having more classes would suck, but being that I have little to no friends in pitt, and my boyfriend lives in Boston; its nice having something to do tues-thur. and then the weekend I fill my time with movies and hw. Sounds kinda pathetic but its the only way I make it through each day.
Moving into my new place has helped out on the loneliness factor. Sara and Stacy are great, and its nice to chill and watch tv with them and help with engineering stuff. I can ride my bike around Oakland and go shopping, but it kind sucks doing it alone and when your broke. Being in Pitt I just feel like I'm losing everyone back home. It's hard to keep in touch and sending a text or having a phone convo just isn't the same. I miss my late nights with leigh going all over and party hopin, and I miss chad and our movie car hangouts and having someone to go to shows with, and I miss just sitting in abbeys room chilling and sewing and watching movies. I miss everyone. Even if I do end up making friends with people here in Pitt, it will never be the same, there will never be another group like "the boys" and no one like Leigh abbey or chad, and shows our here could never compare to home.

So I'm super depressed right now, I'm going to stop rambling about things I can't have or can't change.

I'm just going to continue to sit in the dark and listen to Joy Division....

My Head is Going to Explode

After debating and debating and killing myself over what I want to do with my life, I have finally come to a decision to what I want to major in. The downside... there aren't that many schools that have family consumer science programs. I have spent days trying to find a school. All the schools I have looked at are either jeezus schools or in the middle of now where. One school I called because it look like a good area, and they told me they are eliminating the program. Like WTFrick. Bottom line at least I have a plan, now I just need to find a school that I wont want to kill myself at. (PS looking for schools in PA, NY, RI, or MA, keep and eye out)
PLAN TO BECOME COSMETOLOGY VOTECH TEACHER/FAMILY AND CONSUMER SCIENCE:
-Finish AIP in Dec.
-Go home and go to Lansdale School of Beauty for teaching license/go to BCCC get A.S. in EDU.
-Over the summer during break attend 6 week program for special effects makeup
-Find a college to get my B.A. in Education, and M.A. in Family and consumer science


WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THIS...
-I will first finish Cos Teaching school, and will get a job at a salon/sub teach at a beauty school and continue at BCCC.
-Then I will finish 6 week program for special effects make-up, and do freelance work with that, and continue at BCCC, and working at a salon/sub teaching at beauty schools
-Once I finish at BCCC I will transfer to some school not sure yet, and do freelance make-up/hair, and work in a salon
-Once I'm done at whatever college I'm at I will teach full time at a beauty school for two years/freelance/salon, and then put applications in for votech school/F&CS jobs and see if i get anything.

This is my plan so far, the thing is I'm really good at making plans and setting up for the future, but I have a habit of changing my mind and not going through with all of my elaborate plans. Lets see how long this escapade will last...

wish me luck.

Starting New

I have made a few trips to the Boston area this summer break, and they were worth the creepy Grey Hound bus rides, and 8 hours drives because of god awful traffic. I had so much fun and met some cool people, I can't wait to go back. The city is real sweet, the parks are so nice. Probably the best part of my adventure, is I found someone that's super sweet and knows what they want, and likes me for me and is ready for me. I think Boston is a good place to start new, make new friend (keep the old ones as well), and to have fun. New atmosphere and a little change of pace is good. Downside Pittsburgh is way far from Boston, but there are ways to work around that, I'm not worried.This 4th of July weekend was great, I went to Providence RI, which I did not know was a pretty cool place. I got to ride in a Roadster car, and cruised around town, probably the most American thing to do; Hung out with some new people and acquired a boyfriend. Starting new is working out pretty well so far, I can't wait to see what else is in store for me.

Photo Shoot with Bianca!

I went to shoot with Bianca yesterday, I had so much fun and she is so awesome. Down side I'm a retard and decided it was a good idea to jump off a loading dock in heels...of course I fell and hurt myself and started passing out blah blah blah...my life sucks. Besides that little episode I had a lot of fun, and I can't wait to work with her again. Maybe I can get better at this whole modeling thing and make some money, who knows?

I really can't make up my mind on a career path, its driving me nuts. I really wish I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Right now here are my ideas...
-Cosmo Teacher/degree in teaching/F&C Science teacher
-Chemistry degree to become a Cosmetic Scientist
-Cosmetic and Fragrance marketing degree
-Special effects make-up degree

Sometimes I really wish my mom was one of those controlling parents that made me go to college and made my decisions for me.

Also beauty tip I learned, to get rid of cellulite and have a cute butt/legs, us a Brillo pad...who knew?

I WANT TO GO TO PARIS!

yeah just a picture of me as a Goldwell model, no big deal.

Livin in a dream world

I really wish thing could work out the way i planned them in my head.




It really was a great story, to bad it will never happen.

ME WANT.

and will never have....

Friends

I got a B!

I was your Silver Lining....

But now I'm GOLD.

Why am I not Happy?

PARTY

This weekend had its good and bad sides. Friday I got to hang out with Steph, which was awesome I haven't seen her in so long. And not one thing has changed. Went to an AIP party it was different but the people were nice. Best way to explain this party is hippies. ha it was sweet.
Downside I got ditched twice. One not really big deal, but the other really sucked. I got all this stuff together. I was gonna make diner, had an outfit and tried to look cute. Had some other stuff planned and then they didn't show. It really sucks because I almost expect it now and it sucks. I shouldn't expect something that isn't that hard to do, not to work out.
It sucks, and its frustrating that I can't fix anything.

Happy Easter, I love Pineapple pancakes.

So I'm lazy and don't fell like trying...my life isn't exciting.

Good the Bad and the Ugly

Good:
-Found a cute morning place to eat that makes awesome pancakes
-Found an old movie theater that plays old movies like the county in dtown
-Found a park to sit and eat
-Found a vegan hot dog/burger joint that's cool
-Roommates are cool
-Think I have a job again at American Apparel


Bad:
-Trains/bus make no sense, they might as well not have a schedule
-Train/bus fee system makes no sense some you pay before you get on others after you get on some you don't even pay on the train, you pay at a booth. So i said eff all you and didn't pay.
-My school sucks at there job so I have to drop a class so I have money to live

UGLY:
-People here suck
-No one can dress themselves
-Everyone is "slow"/inbreed
-Have not met one person I would ever consider talking too
-Everyone is creepy and stares

Side Note: I have never seen more blind people in my entire life, there is something in the water.

Night 1 Day 1 Pittsburgh.

The ride down was harsh as soon as I pulled away I started to cry a little. I looked back seeing Andy and Abbey having fun in my front lawn as I pulled away. It sucked, I'm seriously going to miss my friends. I always think I don't really have that many friends at least really close ones, I still do think that but, I found out I have a few more friends than I thought. Alli had a going away thing for me and that was great. I really appreciated it, Shes a great girl. I was so happy to see everyone their.
Anyways on the drive to Pitt I kept seeing roads with the name ending in "Gap". I hate that word, it makes me feel like it's such a far distance from everyone and everything, and there is nothing out west here. There is a Gap in time, its like a black whole of nothing, farm after farm after farm.
I finally got into the city of Pitt. and it isn't horrible but it is small. And everything surrounding it is really just the suburbs, just housing everywhere. My house being part of it, if i had to explain my new home of Dormant, it is a cross between Doylestown, with the shops, and Perkasie with the hick vibe. It is very small and very mountainous. Now the house itself... Its old but better than what I'm used too, there is a lot of room. My room, first thing I noticed smelled straight up like WEED, I was laughing/kind of annoyed. Its gone now, but I thought, really...another thing my room is freezing. Good thing my mom is smart and brought a space heater. On a good note my room is big, so is my bathroom, and other "art" room. It has been raining so I haven't explored much, but my mom and I went to Walmart, omg is stuff cheap here.
I'm not miserable, but not happy yet, it doesn't help that i FORGOT HALF OF MY CLOTHS, I really want to kick myself for it right now, but mom says she will ship them out. Overall life isn't horrible my roomates are nice, I still haven't met the one, but I'm sure it will be ok. Life in Pittsburgh has just begun, I have a long road ahead of me...

I MISS...
DAVE
LEIGH
ABBEY
CHAD
NATASHA
RAUN
HOBER
"THE BOYS/PERVS"
THE GIRLS IN MY LIFE
PHILLY CHEESESTEAKS
KNOWING WHERE I AM GOING! omg do i hate being lost.

I am Human and I want to be Loved, Just like every body else does.

Looking back on life isn't aways a good idea. Remembering what you had and how great it was, and then you see what you have now, and its well...disappointing sometimes. You don't want to go back but your always afraid you will never get to that place again. Maybe this is as good as it gets? Maybe I should be happy that it isn't worse?

I am happy,
Sometimes.

I Just wanna be adored...

I do what I want.

This weekend was kind of a bummer for me not for any perticular reason, but I just was. Leigh is in Europe somewhere and Abbey was in NYC, and Dave was, well he was sleeping...So bottom line i didn't have my usual to hang out with. Saturday I went with my Mom to A West Philly Psyc ward. I of course was being a moppie bitch. Her great idea was to give haircuts to the crazies. I was not very happy, I wanted to sit in my room in the dark and listen to my records, and have an emo moment.
Then I got to the ward and the people their were so happy too see us. So I started cutting, and got less bitchy. They kept saying thank you, and they all loved god, so they wanted to say a prayer for me, it was weird but nice. Most of them wanted to pay me, they have no money really but a few dollars, and they wanted to give me all they could. Bottom line they were all so appreciative of what i did for them. Even if it was something so little as a haircut. I never want to work in a salon for some ungrateful rich bitches that complain about their perfect lives and their blond perfect hair isn't the right shade.
Eff working in a salon, I will work from home and do hair for friends, family, and people who need a hand. I'm going to college and getting a really job.

The Week from hell is over. Thank GOD!

So after hating my life for a few days and swearing someone is out to get me and make me miserable, things are slowly turing around. My big thing was school and finical aid, but i figured out that if i only take 9 credits instead of 12, i will be able to make it till july! I can then change my money plan and be set! Next is that stupid hit and run thing, totally not my fault, because it never happened, as far as i know the insurance company has taken care of it, so thats good. All other things that happened from the week of hell i have accepted and put it behind me.

Things I want/need to do...

Finish skirt

clean this hell hole of a room

finish work project

exercise more...ew

begin packing for pittsburgh :(

Also eff "My life as Liz" im going to make "My life in Pittsburgh" it will be way more depressing/sadly awesome. Watch for my blog videos if i ever figure it out. Good thing is if i don't figure it out its ok, because no one reads this.

FUCK SNOW! It has caused the week from Hell!

Someone must have it out for me...
-Speeding ticket thats bs 109.50
-My Fincial aid doesn't exsit apparently
-Broke my moms new car. 988.50
-Cops came to my house because someone accused me of being in a hit and run. wtf
-Didn't get anything for valentines day, not that i care but my week sucked it would of been nice to cheer up a bit.
-I can't effing stand this snow anymore

Someone take me outback like Ol' Yeller and put me out of my misery.

Ugh.

I have been in the crappiest mood the past few days. Everything pisses me off, not so much my friends but my bf. He really doesn't do anything, I'm just mad at nothing. I get annoyed that I can't see him, but when I can see him I'm still pissed. I makes no sense. I have had a headache all weekend too, it such a bummer. Besides me being a psychotic gf, I had a lot of fun getting snowed in with Abbey, Leigh, Chad and Jake. We had a good slumber party, and played in the snow. I kind a just sat there but it still had fun. I love my friends Pittsburgh's gonna blow.